"I wrote my way out of Hell" Explanation

((Wow, what a creative blog title, Kaitlin))

I feel like I need to offer some sort of explanation as to why I felt the need to completely overhaul my blog.

I can't change my blog name because I've just applied to a lot of freelance writing jobs - but I felt like I needed this to be a bit more... me. I need to be more honest with myself, and I need to learn how to understand myself. So, what does 'I wrote my way out of Hell' mean?

Besides being a line from one of my favorite songs in Hamilton, the phrase 'I wrote my way out of Hell' is a lot more personal to me, so let's start with that.

One of my earliest memories from when I was bullied back in grade school and high school was to immediately grab one of my notebooks and write in my diary. To write in screaming, loud, all caps letters that bled through the page and tore to the next one with imprints...

I hate it here.

I hate them.

I feel so alone.

I want to go back home.

I don't like it here.

Leave me alone.

I hate you.

While these sentences could never be of the same caliber of Alexander Hamilton's, they are to the same effect. Writing has always been my main coping mechanism. I write to let go of negative feelings, and I write to let myself loose.

Writing, unlike everything else I've tried as coping mechanisms, will always be the one thing that calms me. It will help me make sense of my thoughts, and my ramblings, and my ideas.

And in these times when I'm feeling anxious and insecure, I will write.

I will continue to write.

I made it through hell back then.... and I'll make it through this hell now.